...Other than that, it was a normal day!

I serve in the Primary on Sundays. Simply put, I contain chaos. The chaos that is created by children between the ages of 3 and 11. This is a relatively new position for me. I have been in Primary for a solid month now. Previously, I was serving and teaching Young Women (for the last four years), where all I had to contain is the gossip and boytalk. Pretty easy, now that I look back!

So my husband asked as we drove away from the church building yesterday, "So, how'd Primary go today?" All I could do was laugh. Due to the laughter, I had to explain.

It began as any other normal Sunday church session... Sacrament for an hour, with beautiful hymns, uplifting and encouraging speakers and a few prayers. We dismiss for the classes with the usual bottleneck of the Chapel (why do the chatty Kathy's always sit on the last pews? Move it or lose it sister?! I've got kids to teach!) I make a pitstop at the pitstop for the kid and then help a few more kids who just so happen to be as cute as can be. I get in to the class roomand plop my bag down in the last row, closest to door. The seat where one with a whip can snap any kid up, either in trouble or causing it. I do have to say, most children are just lovely. Glorious! However... this was not that day where all children behave. Within minutes the child directly in front of me decides to challenge my authority. Go ahead, wee one. Try me. He began by moving around his metal chair. I lean forward gently, "Please sit still and try to be quiet." He looked at me and growled. Oh, you want to try me do ya??? Ok. Lets rumble. He tried moving it again. I placed my hand on his chair and gently said, "I asked you to sit down and to stay quiet. Please do that." And of course, I did it with a MOM stare. It worked. He turned around and sat. I leaned back in my success. But only a moment later I realized I had only won the battle, not the war. He reached over and pinched his neighbor quite brutally on the arm. OUCH! I hate those. I quickly attempted to remove him from class. That turned in to him attaching himself to his chair, me trying to lift it... didn't work, regardless of my mamouth strength; me trying to scoot the chair out of the room, and right when I was almost in the clear, he ran back to his row and about took out the row in front. I calmly walked back in and said to him, "We need to go out to the hallway and talk... right now." Nothing. He proceded to try to hide himself under the feet of the others in his row. So I resort to picking the kid up like an infant. I took him out to the hallway and sat him on a chair to discuss our options. He pulled my hair, punched me, kicked me, pinched me and then knocked over a chair, all while I was saying, "I need you to calm down." Apparently this child was not speaking English at this point. He hailed from the land of Trantrumland. Yikes. Because I clearly was not getting through to him through speaking, maybe his mom could. After chasing him a little more, I finally picked him up and carried him to his mother... this was a challenge as a passerby stated, "Wrestling match?" Yes. And I was winning. He went to his mother... partial crisis averted.... but it created another.
The child he pinched was scared. I went back to the room only to find him hiding in the corner. I tried to coerce him to come back in, only to be told "NO. I said no, I am not going." Luckily, his dad walked by... but then I got in trouble from him, for letting them near each other. Yikers. I can't win. So eventually he went back in. I then had to pass out "thank-you's" another sister in our ward so lovingly made. This was a nice break from the earlier maddness.
I returned. He was sitting outside again! How did this happen?! The other boy came back in and smacked him upside the head! What!?! This is insanity... all I can say is that at least I wasn't present so I was not responsible. Some of the classes dismissed and the boy who was pinched stayed in the room, as to not dismiss with the pincher. Chaos quelched.
I sit and enjoy the lesson, always better the second time aroung in Primary. Especially since the first go round, I didn't quite get the full effect of the lesson, as I was being wrangled. The missionaries came in and the kids smiled at them. There was even a child volunteer - as an example that all of us can share the gospel, even if it's just hepling the other person, we can each do nice thigs for others. The little volunteer was nice and quiet, a little squirmy, but not distractingly.
I take a few little ones to the potty and all of a sudden it's the end of the last class. I thought all was well - but I thought too soon. Turns out the volunteer for the lesson was squirmy for a reason... and left a wet spot on the floor. As Rebekah said, "At least urine, we know, is sterile!!!" Well put, Rebekah.

So as I finish the story for my husband, I say, "Other than that, it was a normal day!" And then he started to laugh.

Good times. Good times.